Greetings, Abby I’ve known Carole for more than thirty years. As long as her husband wasn’t abusing drugs, her marriage was wonderful. He would verbally, physically, and emotionally abuse her when he was using. She is currently seeing an abusive alcoholic after he passed away. He is really kind when he isn’t drinking, which is about three days a month. She claims to love him, but I’ve tried to convince her that she’s helping him. Before something goes wrong, how can I urge her to open her eyes? — IN ARIZONA, A WORRIED FRIEND
Greetings, friend: When Carole claims to adore this addict, she actually means that she needs his company and is prepared to endure the abuse for three pleasant days per month. If medical professionals treat a patient they believe has been abused and they believe the patient has been injured, they must report the incident. If he physically abuses her, there is little you can do to save her other than to take her to the emergency hospital. Provide her with the National Domestic Violence Hotline number, 1-800-799-7233, and let her know that you are available to her in times of need.
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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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