TO ERIC: For over 30 years, my spouse and I have thrown numerous annual events for our extended family, friends, and neighbors, such as Christmas Day gift-giving, children’s birthdays, bridal and baby showers, and our daughters’ milestones.
Additionally, we hosted a large Fourth of July celebration each year, entertaining our neighbors with barbecue, swimming, and tickets to our town’s fireworks show, where I brought coffee and cakes, among other things.
Although these events were fantastic and everyone always seemed to have a great time, it was tremendously expensive and difficult to plan, prepare, and host them all while we were both working full-time jobs.
With the exception of our daughters’ families, we decided to stop hosting after thirty years.
These former visitors are now rarely seen, and when they are, the usual response is, “Where have you been hiding?” or Are things going well? We haven’t heard from you. like there’s a problem with us. We’re stuck on how to react that communicates that we’ve been okay but that we’ve decided it’s time for someone else to have the parties. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
No More Hosting
To Hosting, The good host’s curse, ugh. You give parties so consistently that people around you start to anticipate them. And no one else steps up when you don’t because, well, they were enjoying your meal and your accomplishments too much.
Clear direction and effective communication are key components of successful social gatherings. Consider how excellent signage can help everyone arrive at the appropriate location at the right time for a surprise party or how name tags can make discussion at a mixer easier. Telling folks that you’ve retired from the party industry will aid you when they inquire about your whereabouts and urge them to invite you to their events. Your presence is missed. Perhaps you could host us at some point.
Although this may seem forward, people frequently require a little encouragement or consent. Furthermore, you’re not inviting yourselves over. The others are always free to refuse.
I would even go so far as to send out a small card, perhaps on a special occasion or whenever it occurs to me. We’ve pulled back from hosting, but we still want to see you, so think of it as a reverse invitation. We’ll bring dessert, so feel free to invite us.
Questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.)
Tribune Content Agency, LLC in 2025.
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