TO ERIC: After my divorce, my mother and I have shared a house for the past 20 years. It was acknowledged when we bought the house that I was merely making an investment.
Now that I’ve met this amazing man, we want to begin our lives together. However, my mother wants us all to reside in the house that we share.
That is not what we desire. If we were to sell our current house, my mother would be able to use her half of the profit to purchase a smaller house.
However, my mother is opposed to selling or moving. She is quite proud of the house and adores it. I’ve told my partner that I want to continue our relationship so that we can begin a life together.
She questions why we are unable to accomplish it while cohabitating. This is not what he and I desire, as I have repeatedly stated. When I kick her out, she claims she will go, which is absolutely not what I would do. She should be open to relocating to a smaller house or perhaps an apartment if she wants us to be happy. Are you able to assist us?
Captured
DEAR TRAPPED: It seems natural that your mother has begun to feel at home after 20 years, even though you invested in the house. You have distinct demands at the moment, and your lives are going at different paces. She seems to be attempting to reach an agreement that will prevent her from being further disturbed. Because it should be noted that she will experience several changes when you go out.
Is it possible that your wish to advance in your relationship with your boyfriend and her wish to remain in her house won’t conflict? Can she, for example, buy you out of your share of the house, either completely or gradually? Is it possible to rent together for a year if you want to move in with your boyfriend but the most of your money is invested in the house?
You write that you want her to be happy, and part of that means admitting that she has her own life, home, and relationship with you, even though she doesn’t participate in the decisions that you and your partner make.
Questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.)
Tribune Content Agency, LLC in 2025.
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