TO ERIC: It is common for close friends to retain their first grandchild. Now, it’s impossible to have any kind of conversation with them anytime we spend time with them.
It makes sense to be in love, yet this pair keeps asking the four-year-old to perform for us, i.e., Sing a tune and say your ABCs. What color is this? Inform our visitors about your whereabouts yesterday.
It is forbidden for the child to think or talk for himself. The impact this has on the youngster worries me. It cannot be good for you.
Friends Who Are Worried
Greetings, friends: This question appears to have multiple components. You can control some, but not all of them. Could it be that your friends are attempting to amuse you by getting their grandchild to share these stories with you? Although four-year-olds can be gregarious and incredibly active, they might not always be the best conversation partners for adults. Your pals may be concerned that you’re bored or even a little sensitive about how visits have altered after the arrival of their grandchild. With this section, give them a little leeway. The child will ultimately have more to say or do while you and the other adults amuse themselves; he won’t always be four.
You don’t need to be concerned about the child’s capacity for independent thought. Adults are interacting with him and asking him questions, which is beneficial to his growth. With all due respect, I wonder if part of this worry stems from your annoyance at not being able to engage in mature conversation with your buddies. The first grandchild’s eagerness must make it difficult to adapt to the new dynamic of this relationship. It should be noted that this phase will not persist forever. However, I would advise you to begin to notice the happiness and delight that your friends are experiencing. The way these encounters feel might change if you make it a point to seek that out and concentrate on it.
Questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.)
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