TO ERIC: As women in our 60s, my best friend and I used to do everything together. She met a good man last year, and they were married after a short engagement. Even the wedding ceremony was performed by myself.
These days, we hardly ever see one another, and if we do, it’s only once a week via text or phone call.
Although I anticipated that our friendship would alter once she got married, I never imagined it would happen so drastically. If she wants to hang out with me and even other friends, her husband becomes irritated. I feel so abandoned and hurt. I’m not sure if I should discuss it with her or keep it to myself. I don’t want to make things unpleasant or build a breach between us.
Broken Friendship
Greetings, friendship: Speak to her. The way her new husband acts is alarming and domineering. One type of emotional abuse that might worsen and endanger her is isolation. When she spends time with friends, especially her best friend, he shouldn’t feel negatively about it. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (TheHotline.org) has services for her (and you). However, a talk based on your love for her and your want to see her happy and well can be the first step toward helping her.
You could also want to recruit additional pals. You can ask them if they’re seeing the same things you are, but you don’t want to join forces with her. She might be more likely to adopt this viewpoint if she hears it from several individuals. Try to ignore your hurt for the time being as you do this. You’ll want to make sure she understands the problems in her relationship before addressing it.
Questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.)
Tribune Content Agency, LLC in 2025.
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