TO ERIC: My wife, who had no biological children of her own, gave a diamond tennis bracelet and diamond stud earrings to her niece when we revised our wills. My wife received a pancreatic cancer diagnosis later that month, and she would pass away 19 months later. Our daily ally while we negotiated the complex world of cancer treatment was my daughter, my wife’s stepdaughter, who works as a radiation oncologist.
My wife’s niece got engaged shortly after her diagnosis, and she wished for her to live long enough for us to attend her niece’s wedding, which we accomplished. Other than paying her a visit during her last two weeks with her parents, seeming bored the entire time, the niece never contacted her aunt during my wife’s illness that I am aware of.
I organized a two-day celebration of life that year. I requested RSVPs and sent out invitations. Although they were aware of the celebration of life even before the pregnancy was announced, the niece’s mother informed me that they (my wife’s brother, his wife, and the niece) would regrettably be unable to attend because the niece was pregnant and the second day of the celebration coincided with the day they chose to have the reveal party for the new baby.
Even though my wife had named her niece as the beneficiary of the bracelet and earrings, I would still like to give them to our daughter because I still have full power over the will. She was there every day for my wife, and she was very grateful for that. I firmly believe that if my wife had known how badly her niece had behaved both during her illness and after her death, she would have wanted our daughter to have those things as well. So, should I follow my wife’s intentions as stated before she became ill or do what I believe she would have wanted based on the niece’s actions both during and after her illness?
Lost Inheritance
Greetings, Inheritance Respect your wife’s desires. Refusing to give your wife the bracelet won’t change the past or accomplish what you truly want, which is to let her give the niece her love. I assume that you can gift your daughter other stuff from your wife’s estate. Additionally, I hope your daughter understands the significance of her presence to you and your wife during her illness. Telling her again won’t hurt.
However, see the tennis bracelet as a present that is offered freely and without expecting anything in return. Your wife cherished her niece. Theirs was a special relationship, like all others. You might not be fully aware of everything. However, even if you do, have faith in your wife’s emotions. The niece is not exonerated only because she received the bracelet. However, you may promote more of the beauty your wife brought into the world by respecting her wants.
Questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.)
Tribune Content Agency, LLC in 2025.
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