TO ERIC: Three years ago, my father died. He lived close to my sister but ten hours away from me.
Sis and Dad have always been close. Although she and I have never been close, we had a decent friendship. I made an effort to visit a few times a year, and she took over the most of his care.
Dad owned a house that was paid off and valued at around $250,000. When his health deteriorated, he sold the house to my sister to facilitate probate. When he passed away, he had instructed us to sell the house and divide it four ways between her, me, and our two step-siblings. She asked if I would mind excluding both stages since they hadn’t spoken to him in years. “Okay,” I said.
She handed me $10,000 after selling the house, saying she didn’t get much because of its problems. A little more would have been wonderful, but I tried to accept this. Indeed, she was worthy of more for the time she spent caring for him.
After selling the house, my sister paid off her personal debt, purchased brand-new cars for herself and her daughter, and sent her grown daughter and granddaughter on European excursions, according to information I learned from a cousin. The fact that she lied to me is perhaps what bothers me the most. Since it was in her name, I suppose she didn’t technically need to send me anything.
Perhaps I wouldn’t have objected as much if she had told me something else. Even though it must have sold for more than $150,000, it still hurts to inform me she didn’t get anything from the sale. Now, I’m just wondering if I ought to speak to her. Although I’m making an effort to accept this, I felt like I was slapped in the face. Should I make contact or leave it alone?
Sister Left Out
DEAR SISTER: First, the legal aspect: you might, if you’d like, speak with an estate lawyer about the potential for suing your father’s estate. According to your account, this could be difficult because the house was in your sister’s name and a lot of the agreements appear to have been verbal rather than in writing. However, there is an alternative if it is upsetting you.
Nevertheless, I believe it will be more fruitful to discuss with your sister whether or not you consult an attorney. You can independently investigate certain aspects of this report, such as the sale price. However, it seems that the most important thing you need is a means of comprehending the altered nature of your relationship with your sister. Yes, money is important, but it wouldn’t heal the pain caused by your father’s passing or the uncertainty surrounding the legacy. Thus, speak with your sister. Try to have a conversation that is focused less on accusation than it is on finding some peace for yourself and, perhaps, a new foundation for your relationship with her.
Questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.)
Tribune Content Agency, LLC in 2025.
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