DEAR ABBY: When my husband was a teenager 20 years ago, he had a two-year online relationship with a girl who lives in Georgia. I know they met each other only a couple of times. We are all in our 30s now, and once in a great while, they contact each other by text or email.
I told him it bothers me that they keep in touch, especially when they say they miss each other. My husband tells me they were “there for each other” when they were younger. Recently, we took a road trip to Florida, and he wanted to stop off in Georgia to see her and so I could meet her. He says that because they never had sex, they weren’t really “going out.” It seems my feelings about this friendship don’t matter. Please advise me, Abby. — UNCERTAIN IN CHICAGO
DEAR UNCERTAIN: I will assume that you nixed the idea of the detour to Georgia. If I’m right, then I think you may have made a mistake. Your husband had a relationship with that girl when they were teenagers. It isn’t surprising that the memory of it is important to both of them. You stated that they don’t communicate often. How is that a threat to you? You won’t endear yourself to your spouse by keeping him on a short leash. Work on resolving your insecurities and loosen the reins. If you do, it will benefit your marriage.
***
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at
www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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