Dear Abby: I’m in my mid-50s, energetic and living with someone who needs to get off the couch

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Greetings, Abby I’ve been dating this amazing guy, Jerry, for a long time. His parents and family are excellent, we all get along great, and we both have older kids.

Jerry puts a lot of effort into his work as a medical expert. He provides us with financial help, which I appreciate, but I also work. He has an autoimmune disease and, regrettably, other health problems as a result of his decades-long neglect of himself. I try really hard not to spend too much time on the couch, prepare nutritious meals, and walk at least ten miles per week.

My issue is that, despite being energetic and in my mid-fifties, I live with someone who is the total opposite of me in that regard. To be active, I go out both by myself and with my family and friends, but I need Jerry to get off the couch and do something except eat out. I’ve discussed this with him rather tactfully on numerous occasions. Shall I simply maintain the status quo? I want to continue our relationship because I adore him. ASSISTANT IN THE NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR ASSISTANT: I propose a two-pronged strategy. Finding out what Jerry’s doctor has to say about his inactive lifestyle would be the first step; perhaps another medical expert may encourage Jerry to get more exercise. The second piece of advice would be to make sure that you both go for a stroll before or after your meal. It would be worthwhile to try, even though it could require some strategy on your part.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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