Greetings, Abby I’m a 37-year-old man with a younger, out-of-state female buddy named Kim. She is incredibly important to me, but not in a romantic sense. My issue is that I have permitted the pain from a past relationship to adversely affect my current friendships. I have trust issues because I was cheated on. This led to a lot of issues with my friend who lives out of state. (I moved away, but we used to live close to one another.)
We don’t communicate at the moment, and occasionally I question whether Kim will ever speak to me again. Other friendships have also been impacted by this. I want to restore my friendships, especially with Kim, and stop allowing this to damage my relationships. How would you go about doing this? In Woming, a wound
DEAR WOUNDED: To avoid alienating additional individuals, speaking with a qualified mental health expert may help you become less defensive. An open explanation and a heartfelt apology could be the solution to repairing strained relationships with ex-friends who haven’t blocked your calls or emails. Regarding Kim, you might be able to get back in touch with her by sending her a letter expressing your want for her companionship and sending a similar message.
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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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