Greetings, Abby My sister-in-law is the enabler of her alcoholic husband. He has health issues that make it hard for him to walk. He frequently trips and falls and is unable to use the restroom. His constant intoxication (he drinks a fifth of vodka every two days) also keeps him from receiving the necessary operation.
He gets his alcohol from my SIL. She claims that if she doesn’t, he will put himself in risk by driving himself. She has attempted to speak with his pastor, friends, family, doctors, and rehabilitation centers. He refuses to listen or go. She is exhausted from caring for him. He requires a medical center that offers addiction treatment.
I took her to an Al-Anon meeting out of desperation to help her, but she thought it was dull. Even though I know I have no control over this, I still find it difficult to listen to her complaints and feel her pain. Now what? — SISTER-IN-LAW ENABLER S
Greetings, S.I.L. There’s no doubt that your sister-in-law needs assistance. Although I have frequently discussed AA and Al-Anon in my column, I have also heard positive things about SMART Recovery, another support group. It is a place where family members of people battling addiction can discover compassion, encouragement, and a strategy to take back control of their own life. She can go to smartrecovery.org/family to find a Family and Friends meeting. She might feel more at ease there if she gives it a shot.
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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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