Greetings, Abby While we are in the same room, my spouse is constantly scrolling through video posts on her phone. She rarely puts her earphones on, even though I have instructed her to do so. I now just switch off the television and wait for her to stop, sometimes for as long as a few hours. I’m afraid to tell her how annoying this is. I’ve attempted to enter other rooms, but her scrolling gibberish has made me feel confined in my own house. She shuts me down on this topic by pointing out all of my flaws when I try to talk to her. Any recommendations? — In Ohio, I’m hearing too much
Greetings, hearing Yes, I believe that it is rude for your husband to insist on forcing the audio on you, even if she has the right to disappear down the rabbit hole of her phone if she so chooses. It’s not impolite to ask her to put on her earbuds; it’s a normal reaction to being made to be an unwanted audience. As I’ve said before, a great attack makes the best defense. Your partner is using this strategy to avoid having to collaborate.
You may be able to improve your assertiveness through some sessions with a licensed family therapist. My final recommendation, if you are unable to achieve it, is this: Select a pastime that will get you out of the house and introduce you to friends who share your interest in entertainment.
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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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