DEAR ABBY: After moving into a 55-plus community seven years ago, I became close friends with my neighbors, “Iris” and her husband. She was widowed five years ago, and I began a relationship four years ago, but my boyfriend and I always included Iris and my other girlfriends in our activities.
Iris became friendly with “Barb,” a woman at her church, who didn’t like me. I was pleasant to Barb but couldn’t force a friendship.
Two years ago, Barb, Iris and another friend vacationed near my brother’s home. Iris texted me several times a day asking for suggestions for fun activities, restaurants, etc., and I offered many. Barb provided the transportation during their vacation. Barb ignored any suggestion I made and sent me several unkind texts about “intruding on her vacation with her friends.”
I texted Iris telling her I had blocked Barb and was sorry about whatever had happened. Iris never apologized. She and our other friend have become distant from me and now vacation regularly with Barb. They all attend church together and have lunch at least twice a week. Should I be grateful that Iris has shown me who she is and try to move on? — MISSING MY FRIENDS IN INDIANA
DEAR MISSING: You were wrong to expect Iris to apologize for Barb’s nasty attitude and unpleasant texts. I agree they were uncalled for, but Iris wasn’t responsible for them. These women have likely distanced themselves because you aren’t active in their church group, which is what they seem to have in common. For your own sake, please try not to take this personally. Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and it seems the one you had with Iris has run its course.
***
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at
www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Latest Advice Columns
-
Today’s daily horoscope for July 19, 2025
-
Miss Manners: We can take our own pictures, thank you
-
Dear Annie: They don’t stay in touch nor do they invite me over, yet I’m expected to give them presents
-
Asking Eric: When staying at a friend’s home, must I invite her if I go out with other friends?
-
Dear Abby: No job is good enough for my unemployed daughter and her stressed out husband asked me to help
