Greetings, Abby I have a bipolar child who is almost 40 years old, and I am 65, single, and retired. Despite taking her medications as prescribed, she self-medicates and occasionally needs to be admitted to the hospital because of her manic episodes. She doesn’t have a job and won’t apply for any assistance. I no longer provide for her basic necessities, such as food, housing, and financial support for her dog.
My requirements were straightforward the last time, prior to her anticipated release: she had to take her medication as prescribed, clean up after herself and the dog, and there couldn’t be any drugs or alcohol in my home. She has three months to find work, according to my plan. I am preparing to no longer house her if these requirements are not fulfilled. Having my own life is something I truly want. When is it acceptable to remove a child from the nest? — ENOUGH IN NEW YORK ALREADY
ENOUGH, DEAR: You ought to have realized by now that, instead of assisting your daughter as you had hoped, you might have been enabling her. Now is the time to establish yourself if she refuses to follow your guidelines. The time for you to live your own life has come and gone.
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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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