TO ANNIE: My spouse, who is now 45, got up after a nearly two-day snooze around seven years ago, and it seemed as though he had changed overnight.
He is cruel and accuses me of being to blame for everything. He routinely tells lies to me and to everyone else on the tiniest things. He pretends to be single and talks to other ladies online as though he is. He refuses to accept responsibility for anything. When I approach him, he claims that he is not at fault and attempts to place the blame on me, or he accuses me of being insane, lying, or fabricating things. He will deny it even if I have evidence.
He has turned cunning, egotistical, and secretive. It would be an understatement to say that he is controlling, and that’s only the beginning. He won’t even entertain the idea that something might be amiss and won’t go to the doctor. Years have passed, and I am aware that this is not a transient problem or the consequence of an infection or injury. I need assistance because I am unsure on what to do. My hubby is missed. — Cohabitating with an Unknown Individual
Greetings, cohabitating with a stranger: In addition to being challenging to coexist with as a partner, what you stated is really alarming. Even if you can’t see it, a sudden, significant change like this most likely indicates a physical or psychological issue.Deeper down, something had to have happened. A doctor’s opinion is still important, in my opinion. Investigate opportunities where a provider could visit your home if he is unwilling to join.
However, you also need to prioritize self-defense. You’re dealing with someone who frequently engages in emotional abuse behaviors such as lying, manipulating, deflecting, and gaslighting. Whether you want to assist him get out of this funk or do it alone, a skilled therapist can help you feel heard, encouraged, and guided toward the next stages. If he has never been physically aggressive, support organizations and hotlines for domestic abuse are also excellent options. His erratic and unpredictable behavior sounds frightening and draining. To feel protected, get the help you require.
For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].
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