DEAR ANNIE: My sister, “Jenna,” is 38 and recently started selling handmade candles online. I was excited for her at first; it’s a big step to start your own business. But now, every conversation somehow turns into a pitch. She’ll bring candles to family dinners and “gift” them, only to follow up later asking for social media shoutouts or reviews. At our mom’s birthday, she gave everyone “custom scents” and then passed around her business cards.
I want to support her, but it’s getting awkward. I don’t think she realizes how pushy it’s coming across. My husband joked that we can’t invite her anywhere without a table for her products. I laughed, but it hit a nerve.
We’re close, and I don’t want to embarrass her or make her feel unsupported. But I also don’t want every gathering to feel like a sales event. Is there a kind way to bring this up without sounding like I’m criticizing her passion? — Burnt Out Sister
DEAR BURNT OUT: No one wants to feel like they are being sold to, especially by their own family. It’s important to be supportive, but you don’t need to accept the fact that every family event is now turning into a sales pitch.
There’s a time and a place for business talk, and it’s OK to set boundaries. Frame it with care: “I love that you’ve found something you’re passionate about, but I’ve noticed our family time has started to feel more like a sales event.” Keep it short and stick to how it’s affecting the family dynamic, not her intentions.
If she’s receptive, great. If not, you can limit how much time you spend with Jenna until she cools off about the candles.
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