DEAR ANNIE: I’ve given my nephew birthday and Christmas gifts every year, despite rarely receiving a thank-you, let alone any love or appreciation from him. I work very hard and have limited funds. I’ve stressed the importance of thank yous to him and have probably received one gift from him in my lifetime.
He’s now married to someone just as selfish, and I’m expected to give to her, too, supposedly because she’s had a hard life. Their parents should’ve taught them better! They don’t stay in touch, never invite me over and only show up during the holidays to collect gifts. I doubt they’d be there for me if I ever had an emergency.
I’m tempted to stop giving altogether. Is that unreasonable? — Taken for Granted
DEAR TAKEN FOR GRANTED: It’s not unreasonable at all. Even if your nephew and his wife aren’t in a position to give gifts in return, there’s no excuse for not saying thank you or showing some appreciation, both of which are free.
If you come across something that feels meaningful and you genuinely
want
to give it to them, do it on your terms, but not because you feel obligated to. It’s also OK to stop with the gifting entirely. Allow yourself to let go of any guilt. You’ve already been more than generous.
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