Greetings, Miss Manners Five other pastors work alongside me as the pastor of a medium-sized church with roughly 500 members. While I was on vacation this summer, a churchgoer vehemently chastised the staff for failing to notice that she had been absent for eight Sundays. In a lengthy tirade on social media, this young lady chastised us for our carelessness.
To be fair, we don’t take roll, and many other church staff and members took vacations during the weeks she was away.
We were only made aware of this outburst when a few churchgoers brought it up and forwarded us a copy, as she had unfriended every employee. In response to her article, a number of other members defended the staff and questioned the propriety of using this platform for criticism. It didn’t have much of an impact on our community life, and nobody else is upset.
I have not responded, as my deacon chair advised. She openly attacked us, which I didn’t believe was fair; before this, I would have thought of this woman as a friend. Although I find it annoying that this critique is not addressed, most readers are probably aware of this kind of immaturity.
Do I have to answer? I doubt I could politely express that I felt her post was unjust and disrespectful, but I could absolutely apologize for not noting her absence.
PERSONAL READER: Or you may ask Miss Manners a question in response. However, she would have to clarify that this is just a new kind of rudeness, similar to what the young woman said online.
She believes your question to be sincere and is not accusing you of this. However, she would definitely advise against answering the initial provocation.
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(Questions can be sent to Miss Manners via email at [email protected], her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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