Greetings, Miss Manners I intend to host a formal dinner for my daughter’s in-laws. I want to host it the way my late mother, who was practically aristocratic, would have done sixty years ago: with flowers, nice silver, fine china, and starched linens. My motivation comes in part (well, mostly) from some snooty comments made by my daughter’s father-in-law.
The problem is that I was brought up to roll up my napkin after supper and save it in my name-engraved napkin ring for subsequent use. But if guests are only staying for one meal, I can’t remember for a life if they should be given a napkin ring.
GENTLE READER: If this man is as conceited as you claim, he might think—as many people do today—that silver napkin rings give a table a more formal feel. He would also be mistaken.
They have no place at business meals.
Your mother, who might have been your mother herself, lightened the laundress’s load with the napkin rings, as Miss Manners is aware. It was vital to identify whose napkins were whose because the family used them for multiple meals. You don’t want to be left using your brother’s napkin after he smeared it with jam.
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(Questions can be sent to Miss Manners via email at [email protected], her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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