Greetings, Miss Manners Names were affixed to the chairs in the first row for assigned seating at my partner’s son’s wedding. The mother of the groom, his father (my partner), their daughter, the groom’s mother’s boyfriend, and I were seated in the first row on the groom’s side.
It seemed strange because I had never met the man next to me, who was the mother’s partner. I made the most of it, though, and struck up a conversation with him, inquiring about his own kids, since people usually like to talk about that.
The relationship between my partner and his ex is friendly and courteous. According to what I hear, their 20-year divorce was contentious at first but ultimately led to an uncomfortable truce. Their children, who are now grown adults, were shared custody.
We were a little taken aback when the wedding coordinator informed us of the seating arrangements approximately 30 minutes before the ceremony since we had anticipated that we would sit together. Naturally, we didn’t object and simply accepted it. We didn’t want to cause a stir at his son’s wedding.
Was I mistaken to feel uneasy in this designated seating arrangement? I kept my emotions to myself, and I won’t complain about it later. I just needed a dose of realism. Do you believe my uneasiness was justified?
GENTLE READER: In agreement. Rather, you should be proud of yourself for being polite in the face of awkwardness.
(Questions can be sent to Miss Manners via email at [email protected], her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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