DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have had a recurring situation happen for the past five years — since I have been married.
My husband and I enjoy taking photos of us together using a timer on the camera. We have fun with the random photo expressions and experience joy this way. We set up a camera or phone on a tripod, then count down until it clicks.
Almost every time we do this in public, a stranger will quickly come up and ask if they can help us by taking the photo. I respond with, “No, thank you.”
I say it kindly, but it still causes an unpleasant feeling every time. It is met with severe shock, disbelief and often facial disappointment on their part, and there is often a lingering negative emotion hanging around.
I understand they come from a place of wanting to help. But should I have to explain why we don’t need their assistance? I have recently tried saying, “No, thank you. This is fun for us, to do it this way.” But that doesn’t work, either.
GENTLE READER: Perhaps a slight variation on that: “Thank you so much, but it’s just a thing we do,” accompanied by a self-deprecating laugh that says, “Aren’t we silly? Wouldn’t you prefer not to get involved?”
Miss Manners feels reasonably certain that if you execute that last part successfully, most people will acquiesce. If you want to tailor it to different generations for maximum effect, you might replace “thing” with “tradition” for the older set, and “trend” for the younger. The former may still look puzzled, but the latter should understand.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,
www.missmanners.com
; to her email,
; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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